Tomorrow, I'll Breathe
by xhoneymariex
Summary: Rikki doesn't want to accept that her mother is gone, but she does after three years and rehab. Now, she lives a wonderful life. But what happens when an accident leaves her fighting to live another day? Tragic. Adult Content.
1. Haunting Memories

Tomorrow I'll Breathe

I : Haunting Memories

--

Families ;

(Names and Ages have been changed)

Chadwick/Gilbert -

Claire Chadwick-Gilbert : 30

Thomas Gilbert : 31

Rikki Chadwick : 18

Emma Gilbert : 18

Elliot Gilbert : 20

Setori -

John Setori : 31

Cleo Setori : 18

Kim Setori : 15

Bennett -

Harrison Bennett : 33

Zane Bennett : 18

--

_No One_

Rikki Chadwick had been in denial for two years. Two whole years. She never really understood why god took away her mother, the only living parent she had left. Her father had died in a plane collision.

Even after those two years, Rikki took another year getting better. Rehab was needed. She had to learn to stop everything she did for her mother. Emma, her step-sister, had helped her through it. Elliot wanted to be he had college to attend.

Even three years later, Rikki could remeber ever little detial of what happened the fateful night she was told her mother had passed.

--

The sun had already faded into the moon, leaving the sky a dark blue. The only people out were the people coming home from work in their cars. Rikki had been home, watching television with her new step-brother, Elliot. She was younger than him by two years and, at that time, he had been seventeen years old while she had been fifteen.

The phone rang, Rikki stopped watching the animated cartoons that both blonde's liked to see, and walked over to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Hey honey, how are you and Elliot?_" It was her mom, Rikki rolled her baby blue eyes when she realized her mother was driving while on the phone. Shame on her.

"Hey mom, we're fine. What about you? Breaking the law, I see." She hears her mother laugh and smiles. Rikki and her mother, Clair Chadwick-Gilbert, had always had a special connection.

"_Sure, darling. Don't worry, I'm making this call short and sweet._" Rikki laughs at her mother's words. "Nope, that would be me." The two laugh and Rikki immediatly feels that _something's wrong _emotion in the pit of her stomach. She ignores it.

Her mother and her continue the conversation for two more minutes. "So, mom how was work?" It's a common question that's asked every time Claire comes home from work.

"_Great! You won't believe what --_" Her mother shrieks and the line goes dead. Rikki wonders what happens but spends two minutes listening to the dial tone. Hoping her mother was joking around.

--

Emma takes a ride home from her senior friend, Amanda. The two blonde's drive down the road in silence as Amanda watches the road and Emma looks out her window to see the rain drops.

Sirens are heard, both police and paramedic. As they continue their journey, the two girls see an ambulance car with it's lights on and three police cars, they also see an upside down crushed car and a yellow school bus. People surround the area.

"What happened?" Amanda pulls over and unbuckles her seat belt before getting out of the car and slamming the door. Emma does the same thing quickly, following the older teen to the scene of interest. They are contianed by the yellow tape the police but around the area.

They struggle to find their way to the front, and when they do, the sight is frightening. A woman lays on the gravel, her face covered in crimson blood with shards of glass on it. She had blonde hair that is fanned around her and is wearing a blue blouse with black trousers that are now torn. Her arms and legs are covered in bruises and scrapes.

Emma looks at the car and at the woman. It takes her a minute to realize who it is. Claire Chadwick-Gilbert. Her brand new step-mother of only five months. Her heart stops and her eyes widen as tears prick at them. She blinks them back and gets her heart started again, not wanting to cause a scene.

Taking Amanda's pale hand, she drags her back to the car and tells her to get her home right now.

--

Rikki sits next to Elliot, still curious about what happened with her mother and worried. The scream that her mother let out was one that you would when someone was about to kill you or the one that you would when you got into a car accident. The blonde shakes the thoughts out of her head: _No, your mother is not dead, get a grip on yourself Chadwick!_

Her thoughts frighten her and, after a minute, Elliot realizes that too. "What's wrong?" Rikki shakes her head at his words and watches the television screen, "Nothing, just...thinking." He scoots closer and looks at her, "About what?"

She can't tell him, he'll think she's stupid. The blonde would get embarassed and he'd always think of her like that. Stupid and freaky. "Nothing, Elliot. Trust me." She fakes a smile and he doesn't buy it but leaves her alone.

The door opens and closes with a slam. Emma walks into the living room with teary eyes as Elliot and Rikki look up at her. The two blonde's stand up, "What happened, Emma?" Rikki's the first one to speak. Shaking her head, the wheat-blonde sits on the couch and starts to sob.

"Emma, please tell us, your getting us worried." Rikki places her arm around her step-sister and best friend, trying to figure out whats wrong. Elliot sits next to her too, holding his sisters hand. Emma wipes away the tears and takes deep breathes, trying to calm herself down.

She turns to Rikki and holds both of the blonde's hands, "Rikki..on my way home..something happened." There's a long pause as Emma starts to tear up again, Rikki looks at her, "What happened?" Emma looks at Rikki with an _i'm sorry_ look, "Rikki...your mom's dead." Eyes widen and the blonde's world goes dark.

--

The funeral is short and quick. Claire's body is so roughed up you can't even recognize her anymore, the shards of glass left scars all over her beautiful face.

Emma dresses in a black blouse with a black skirt, a hat, and black flats. Her wheat-blonde hair is tied into a ponytail. She weeps as they lower her step-mother's coffin down into the ground. Rikki just looks away, not wanting to see the sight. Even though tears prick at her eyes, she blinks them away. Elliot stand between Emma and Rikki while his dad stands next to Emma.

After the ceremony, everyone leaves. Emma weeps as her father and brother take her to the car but Rikki stays behind. She looks at the grave stone and tears start to run down her cheeks. Her hand connects with the stone and she feels empty, empty without her mother.

"I'm sorry." She whispers quietly before running out of the cementary, leaving the rest of her family worrying for her.

--

Elliot Gilbert never thought he'd find his fifteen year old step-sister where he did. He walked into a random bar, tired from trying to find his step-sister who had run away when he and his father were dragging Emma to the car.

Sitting down, he notices a young blonde passed out on the bar wearing all black. He turns to look at her face and realizes it's Rikki. The female bartender walks up to him and points at her, "That your sister?" Elliot picks up the younger girl in his arms, "Step-sister actually."

"Well, you better give her some heavy aspring when she wakes up tomorrow because she drank more than ten shots." With that, the red head bartneder leaves the two blondes alone. Elliot groans in despair before carrying Rikki out of the bar and home.

--

"Rikki, where are you going?" Emma asks her now sixteen year old sister. "Out." The blonde replies as she walks out of the house, slamming the door shut. Emma sighs and sinks down into the couch with a troubled expression on her face.

A year had passed since the death of Claire and Rikki was still hung over it. She went "out" and drank every night, skipped school, and had no more respect for anyone. Elliot was getting worried and annoyed at the same time, much like his sister. Both worried for Rikki, they didn't want her to end up dead or something like that. Emma hoped that she would see her sister soon and today was not the day that she'd take her life.

--

Elliot was gone to college while Emma and Rikki had turned seventeen and were now in their junior year of high school.

Emma was in school when it happened, the principal called her to his office with the loud speaker and her class mates giggled like the idiots they were. Emma walked into the principals office, which happened to be a female. "Yes, ?"

The dark haired woman looked up at the wheat-blonde from her work and gave a worried expression. "What happened?" Emma sits in one of the chairs set infront of her desk. takes off her glasses and looks at Emma, "Get your things, Rikki's in the hospital." Emma's expression is anything but happy and she rushes out of the room, not even getting her things, before driving full speed to the hospital.

--

Elliot is already at the hospital when Emma gets there. Their father wanted to come, but couldn't because of his cold-hearted boss.

"What happened to her, why is she here?" Emma asks in a rush as she walks up to Elliot. Her hair's a mess and her make-up is smudged but she'll always look pretty to him. "She passed out while walking with her friends and they called 911." Emma starts crying all over again and Elliot hugs her.

Two dark haired teesn that look Emma's age walk in and sit in the chairs for Rikki's waiting room. One is a guy while the other is a girl, they both looked worried. Emma looks at them before Elliot walks over to the strangers, "Who are you?" The pair look up at the two blondes, "I'm Zane, Rikki's boyfriend and this is Cleo, her best friend."

--

Rikki agrees to rehab for her own sake. Emma, Elliot, Cleo, and Zane breathe a sigh of relief when she announces it. Emma and Cleo pack Rikki's clothes with her as they all talk.

A month had passed by since Rikki's accident and the five had goteen close. Rikki stopped going out but that didn't stop her from drinking vodka in the morning. The four had finally gotten Rikki to agree to rehab, she said she wanted to get over her mother's death and move on.

--

Today was the day they were taking her to the rehab center only a few miles away. The drive takes an hour and the girls spend it talking about random things. "We're here, guys." Elliot announces as the building comes into view. Rikki's eyes sadden along with her mood as she sees her new "home".

"We'll call everyday, okay?" Rikki nods at Emma and Cleo's words, a small smile gracing her lips. Elliot hugs her and wishes her luck while Emma and Cleo crush her and cry about how they're going to miss her. Zane, her boyfriend of five months, kisses her softly before hugging her. That's when the water works start.

She reminds herself that this will make her better, make everyone's and her life better. Taking a deep breathe, she grabs her bags and waves goodbye before walking up to the door. The blonde looks over her shoulder to see her four friends waving goodbye, she does the same once more before entering the facility.

Smiling, she reminds herself, "It's a new start, you'll be better Chadwick."

--

_What do you guys think? Good or delete-it-right-now?_

_Don't worry, this chapter was just the past. The present is the new few chapters._

_Review and tell me what you think!_

_=D_

_- Marie xx_


	2. After the Disaster

Tomorrow, I'll Breathe

II : After the Disaster

--

Special thanks to **WALIXELA **& **Jessy** for the reviews, even though Jessy reviewed with my own account. Dumb. Also special thanks to **WALIXELA** and **BlitzHolly **for alerting my stories and suscribing. Love you guys.

--

_No One_

**..Little things are what make all of our days worth it. Especially to those moms out there who love their children to death. Every imperfection is what makes them perfect. **

**- Emma Gilbert**

Satisfied, Emma leans back and smiles at her laptop screen. Clicking the **SUBMIT **button with her track pad, she watches as the computer screen changes into another page. The wheat-blonde stands up from her chair and walks out of her home office before procceding down the steps leading to the living room.

After Rikki's intesnse, two year rehab, she came back healthy and just like she used to be. No one asked what happened at the center, fearing she'd go back to her old ways. Rikki and Emma moved out of their father's house, moving to another house closer to the school. Emma got a job on a popular online newsletter and Rikki got a job in a fashion store in the city. Although it seemed like they were already twenty, the two were only seventeen and still in high school.

The living room had white walls with beautifully decorated furnisher and a less than half-way wall seperate the kitchen from the living room. Just barely. Rikki lay on the leather couch, sleeping with her work profiles on her stomach face down. Emma looked at her step-sister before going to their hall closet and pulling out a blue blanket and covering the other blonde with it after placing the profiles on the coffee table.

As Emma walks into their kitchen to make dinner, the phone rings loudly. The wheat-blonde rushes to their silver phone and answers it, hoping that her sister didn't wake. She looks over at Rikki, seeing her stir a bit but not wake up.

"Hello?"

"Emma, how are you?" It's Cleo. Emma walks back to the kitchen with phone in her hand, pressed to her ear. "Good, what about you?" She takes out food from the stainless silver fridge and placing it on the marble counters.

"Absouletly wonderful! Lewis _finally _asked me out!" Emma giggles quietly at the brunette's bubble attitude. Lewis, the blonde freckled boy that Cleo had a crush on. For two whole weeks, she complained how his current, now ex, girlfriend, Charlotte, wasn't good enough for him. It wasn't a suprise she was happy when he asked her out.

"Wow, that's great, Cleo! Does Zane know?" Silence was her answer and she took that answer as a no. "Cleo..you have to tell Zane." More silence before she hears an exsasperated sigh, "But, Emma! You know how Zane is! I wish I lived with you guys, seriously." Emma laughs at the last part, the _seriously _part.

"Come on, it won't be so hard to tell him." Emma re-assures her brunettte friend and imagines her nodding. "Okay...later, though. He's gonna be all Miriam about it." The two laugh.

"I'm not going to be 'Miriam' about it!" Emma's blue eyes grow wide whilst Cleo gasps. Zane gulps at the fact he's been caught, "Umm, I mean.." Cleo cuts her brother off, "Call you later Em, I've got a brother to kill." Emma laughs as they both hang up before going back to cooking dinner.

--

Rikki yawns as she stretches, waking up to hear something sizziling and a light smoke coming from the kitchen. She ruffles her already tousled light blonde hair as she sits up and realizes she has her mother's blanket on her.

"Rikki, your awake already?"

Emma's voice is heard from the kitchen. Rikki stands up and folds the blanket neatly before placing it on the couch and heading to the kitchen. "Sorry, I feel asleep. Sarah wanted me to design some clothes so I can have my own little spot in the store. We might become official partners."

The light blonde spots her step-sister cooking in the kitchen with a stainless silver pan with smoke arising from it. The two cover their eyes as they speak. "Really? Well, I'm the most popular coulumn on the newsletter. Right next to sports that is." The two roll their eyes at men's obssessions. "Obviously, men and their sports." The two giggle.

"I'm almost done, set the table? Cleo is coming over." Rikki nods and grabs three plates, cups, and silver wear. She places it on their clear glass table with the sleek chairs. "So, Zane was 'checking up' on Cleo while we were talking on the phone." Rikki's eyes widen and she scoffs, "Really? That's Zane for you." Emma chuckles as she places the food on their plates.

"Yeah, Cleo was so mad, that's why she wants to come over for dinner. That and the fact that their maid is out and Zane is a horrible cooker." Rikki giggles at Emma's words, "Duh! I went over once and all the food was burned." As the two laugh, the door bell rings.

Rikki walks over to the door and opens it to reveal her bubbly friend. "Hey, Rikki!" Cleo smiles and hugs her tightly before bouncing in and closing the door behind her. "Hey, Cleo. What's up? Zane been bugging you." Cleo rolls her brown eyes and scoffs, "Can you say stalker?"

Giggling, the light blonde takes her seat next in between the wheat-blonde and brunette. "Hey Cleo, Zane still tied up?" Emma asks as she hugs Cleo before sitting back down. Cleo giggles, "Yup, been like that for an hour." The three girls laugh as they eat dinner.

--

Opening her baby blue eyes, Rikki yawns as she stretches on her king sized bed. Sitting up, the blonde swings her leg onto the floor and stands up slowly. Another day at "Sarah's Closet," soon to be re-named into another name. After all, Sarah had let Rikki design some styles for the store, too.

The blonde showers quickly before blow drying her hair that automatically curls and picks out her clothes. Rikki changes into a purple graphic tee, skinny jeans, and flats. She leaves her curly, blonde hair alone and grabs her purple side bag before walking out the door.

She drives to the store, almost falling asleep on the red lights. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night due to the fact that Zane kept her on the phone until twelve. The blonde parks her car in front of the boutique and slams the car door shut, locking it, before entering the store.

"Rikki! Glad to see your here!" Sarah calls out as Rikki walks in with a smile, "Hey, Sarah." The blondes hug before getting to work. Sarah, Rikki's manager, was only twenty years old and had a lot ahead of her. She wasn't married, but she did have a boyfriend.

"So, Rikki, do you have your designs ready?" Rikki nods and takes out a sketch book. Sarah takes the sketch book and looks through it, smiling at the designs. "I'm impressed, Rikki. These are all very good." Rikki smiles brightly and takes back her book after Sarah's done and shoves it into her bag again.

"This will really attract new customers for sure, would you like to make them or shall I?" Rikki thinks for a moment, "If you want to, you could make them." Sarah smiles and hugs her, "I'd love to! Just give me the designs you like best and I'll get right to work." Rikki nods and hands her some papers before Sarah goes into her office and Rikki continues her work.

--

_Yeah, pretty bland chapter but the next one is full of drama. _

_I'll only tell you that it's an anniversary. & another thing, I won't update as much because I have some things going on, i'm moving & my cousin was in an accident that only left him with a broken arm. Thank god._

_- Marie xx_


	3. An Anniversary to Remember

Tomorrow I'll Breathe

III : An Anniversary to Remember

--

_Guys, please review/comment for me to know if the story is good or not. If no one reviews then i'll automatically think that it isn't good. By the way, if your not a member, you can still review/comment._

_=)_

--

_No One_

Scared. Rikki Chadwick felt scared. Well, not really. More like...upset. Today was the day that she hated with all her being. Today was the day her mother passed away. The blonde had refused this to get in her way of living her life. The re-assurence and the fake confidence didn't help her. She crumbled into nothing with tears pouring out of her baby blue eyes.

Clutching the picture of her mother to her chest, she shakes as the tears stream down her cheeks. The blonde hated today with all her soul. If it wasn't for today, her mother would still be here. Her mother would be here and the family would be like it used to, not messed up.

The tears slow and the blonde looks at her mother's picture, pulling it away from her chest. Her mother is smiling, a young light blonde in her arms sleeping with her head to her mother's chest. The young blonde was Rikki when she was only two. Wiping away tears, the blonde stood shakingly from her bed, placing the picture down on the night stand.

Rikki changes into a black hoodie, dark jeans, and converse. She fixes her blonde hair and washes her face of the tears stains. As she walks out the door, she turns to look at her mother's picture again and knows what she has to do.

--

Emma frowns when she sees the calender. She too disliked today, for obvious reasons. Her boss sends her an e-mail saying that Emma doesn't have to come into work today. The wheat-blonde frowned again, she didn't like people taking pity on her. All the pity in the world wouldn't make the Chadwick/Gilbert's okay for the death of Claire.

Emma slowly shuffles herself downstairs still in her blue pajamas. She expects to Rikki, the light blonde isn't there. Shrugging, Emma assumes that the light blonde's still asleep. She makes herself breakfast, slowly. Truthfully, she isn't hungry, she hopes that she will soon so the food won't be wasted.

The phone rings, the wheat-blonde slowly walks to get it. She picks up the phone and places it to her ear as she walks back to the kitchen, "Hello?" The wheat-blonde has a dull tone to her voice. "_Emma? Are you okay?_" It's Cleo. Her bubbly tone sad for her two best friends. She knows what day today is.

"Yeah, fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Emma answers boringly. A sigh is heard from the phone, "_Emma, don't play with me. I want to help you._" The wheat-blonde places her cooking utensils down and goes to sit on the couch, "There isn't anything you can do, Cleo."

"_What do you mean? Yes there is!_" Emma's volume turns up a couple of notches, "No! There isn't! My step-mother is dead and you can't do anything about it!" With that, she hangs up the phone and throws it onto the floor. They have a rug so it just makes a small _thump _and rolls on the curved back before stopping.

Emma sits on the couch, she looks around with sad eyes and a frown on her face. There is no noise, everything is silent. The wheat-blonde acts fine before she buries her face in her palms and starts to cry.

--

Cleo's mouth hangs open for a minute or two as she listens to the dial tone. The brunette shuts it before flipping her cell phone closed and laying down in her bed. She looks up her pink bedroom wall whilst thoughts scattered around in her head.

Emma and Rikki were both hurt. Rikki the most. Zane wasn't even trying to help, or was he? Cleo herself wasn't in the best shape, either. A week ago, some of the school cheerleaders had picked on her. At first, she took it was nothing. Then, she looked at her body and the same words repeated in her mind.

_Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Useless. Trash. Wash-Out._

Her tears poured out of her brown eyes before she wiped them off her cheeks. The brunette stands off the bed and takes a tin of pills with her. She swallows one dry before the sinking feeling comes into her stomach. Her stomach does turns, something feels as though it's climbing up her neck. The brunette runs to the bathroom and throws up. The tin of pills sit on her night stand while she throws out her life and flushes it down the toilet. Literally.

--

Rikki's converse squish as they step on the wet cement. It had rained last night, a storm actually. The blonde didn't care. She continued walking to her destination. People don't look at her as she walks down the street. Thankfully. Right now, she seriosuly looks like a theif. Her black hoodie is up and she's got her pale hands in her sweater pockets.

Small drops of rain start to fall from the clouds to the streets below. Some people shield themselves with their newspapers, others open umbrellas. Rikki lets nature soak her slowly. She's almost there, anyway. It only took two hours, on foot, to walk from her house to where she was going.

Maybe Emma already saw that the light blonde wasn't even in the house. Maybe she was still crying. Either way, she'd know where Rikki had gone.

Rikki pushes the black, iron gates so she can slip in. The word _Cementery _is molded into the top of the black gates. At first, there's a large widthed, gravel path meant for cars. As she continues to walk, the blonde stays on the now narrow cement path meant for maybe two people side by side.

She continues to walk, the blonde knows where the grave is. There are many graves, she realizes while walking. So many people, taken away from their families. Some for stupid reasons, others because their time had come, and many because of battles and wars.

The blonde remembers her real father as she makes her way to both of their graves. He had been in the army. Brave, strong-willed, never backed down. That was her father. She loved him to bits, as did her mother. He went off to fight in the middle east and one day, five months later, a letter came. Only one sentence stuck out to her mother and herself.

_We are sorry, Gregory Chadwick passed when his unit camp exploded._

Exploded? They had to find pieces of her father just to put him in his grave. Tears shined against Rikki's eyes as she remembered. Her mother had been an awful mess. Always crying and mourning, wearing black everyday. Rikki did the same, she loved her father and now he was gone.

Rikki stops when she spots the two graves she is looking for. They're side by side, as they would always be. Stepping off the cement path, her converse come in contact with the dewy grass and wet soil. The blonde ignores the noise her shoes make and walks the short distance.

The blonde stares down at her parent's graves. Fresh tears trail down her cheeks.

_Gregory Chadwick_

_Beloved Father and Husband. _

_Fought for his country and died, proudly._

_Claire Mary Chadwick/Gilbert_

_Beloved Mother and Wife._

_She will always be remembered._

Rikki sits Indian style infront of her parent's graves, a shaky smile on her lips. "Hey, mom. Hey, dad." There is no answer, but Rikki doesn't care. "I just wanted to say, I'm doing good. I know you were dissapointed when I started doing drugs and drinking. I'm sorry. I-I was just trying to forget that you both were gone. That I wouldn't see you every morning like I used to. That there won't be any more family trips. That your _dead_."

Rikki's crying even more. The tears flowing down her cheeks quickly as she shakingly smiles at her parent's grave stones. "I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry I didn't go to your funerals. I just couldn't. I-I couldn't stand the fact that you were gone. Now I have.."

A drop of rain falls on the blonde's head. Millions more follow. Rikki chuckles softly as the rain soaks her and she looks around. _The sky is crying with me_. It was a fable that Rikki's mother and father would always tell her when it was raining. _The sky is sad, it's crying_.

Her blonde hair sticks to her as do her clothes. The blonde's attention turns back to her parents and she starts crying all over again. "I-I just want to say...I miss you." She buries her face in her palms and shakes with sobs as the rain becomes more violent.

The blonde picks herself up and tells her parent's goodbye with a shaky smile before walking back to the street and out of the cementery. Her hands dig into her sweater pockets as she tries to find warmth, it's no use. Her whole body is frozen and starting to go numb.

Rikki picks up her walking pace, she crosses a street without looking. Headlights shine and the blonde turns with wide eyes. The car strikes her with full force and she flies into the air before coming down hard to the ground. Her head hits the ground harshly and her body goes dead. The driver stops the car abruptly, climbing out he looks at the girl and calls 911.

Rikki finally finds her warmth.

--

_Review/Comment please? Tell me how it was. =)_

_- Marie xx_


	4. Emergency

I'll Breathe Tomorrow

IV : Emergency

--

_In a way, a freaky chapter._

--

Emma opens her black umbrella as she steps out of her newsletter building. Her boss, coincidentally named Emma, had called her for a meeting that last an hour. They needed better stories and a new designs for their website, Emma had offered to have Lewis do it. Her friend being quiet the tech geek.

The wheat-blonde walks toward her car as the rain pelts down on her umbrella that's protecting her from the violent rain. She quickly enters her car and shuts her umberlla before stepping into the car. She slams the door closed and starts her car, pulling out of park space and driving home.

She smiles to herself as she drives, the day is almost normal and she had gotten through it well. The wheat-blonde turns the corner, the grave where her step-mother was buried lay there, and sees the ambulance.

She pulls over, seeing that the police and ambulance were blocking the road, and climbs out. Her car door shuts and the men turn their attention toward her. There's a car in the middle of it all, blood is on the gravel.

One of the police men looks down at a small picture before looking at her, "Emma Gilbert?" She nods and gingerly walks toward them, they look over at a blonde woman on a gurney.

"Oh my god." Emma gasps and tears well up in her eyes as she rushes to her sister's side. Bruises and scraps cover her arms, legs, and some of her face. There's blood, a lot of it. Emma looks at her step-sister with tears running down her cheeks, "No, no. It can't be her!" She cries, some one wraps their arms around her.

Emma looks up to see her brother, Elliot. "That's not her, Elliot, right.." He looks down at her with pain in his blue eyes, "Yeah..it is, Em." The wheat-blonde starts sobbing uncontrolablly as her brother holds her up and her step-sister is taken away.

--

Emma's crying.

She's breaking down right in the middle of the street while the paramedics take me away on a gurney. I look at myself before they take the real me away to the hospital. My clothes are tattered and I have a huge cut on my forehead along with somewhere else on my scalp.

I grimace and look away from my ,broken, self. Elliot's here and he's hugging Emma as she tells him that it's not me. It can't be. She almost falls but Elliot keeps her up. I stand there, looking at them breaking down.

I smile sadly to myself. After all of that. Talking to my parent's dead souls, telling them I was sorry, crying my eyes out in the rain. This happens to me, on the anniversary of my mother's death. Wow, my family really is screwed.

The guy that hit me is apoligizing, explaining that he didn't see me. How could he not see me? The police ask him the same question. He admits he was talking to his son on the phone and got distracted, it was too late to stop when he saw me.

"Too late" is a common word in my world. It was "too late" to tell my father that there was a bomb in his unit. It was "too late" to save my mother because she died on that street. It was "too late" for me to change my ways and not dissapoint my parents.

I look up at the dark sky, it's not raining any more. I look at the police car's flashing lights and the ambulance truck taking my body away. I can still hear them, no matter how far I, the real me, is.

"Real shame. The girls' father and mother already passed. It's her mother's anniversary and this is what happens." One of the police says, a sad look on his face. I shake my head, they don't feel sympathy, they feel the need to say it so they don't seem rude. "Yeah. That guy was one of her mother's clients." The other officer says.

The man that hit me is gone along with his car. The car that had my blood on the hood. Emma and Elliot are gone too, they followed the ambulance truck to the hospital minutes ago.

"What's his name again?" The first officer asks the second, looking around.

"Harrison. _Harrison Bennett_."

--

Emma fidgets in the blue hospital seat with tear stains and smudgy eyeliner. Elliot had taken her to his car and they had driven to the hospital quickly. Elliot was now standing outside, calling Cleo and Zane to alert them of what happened.

Emma looks around to see patients being strolled down the hallways casually and people talking. She sees a family crying as the doctor tells them that their daughter didn't make it. Shivering, Emma hopes it won't happen to them.

Losing Rikki would be the breaking point for her. The blonde would go crazy and suicide or just have her life go down path. She knows that would happen, she just does.

Emma waits for a doctor to come and tell them that it wasn't Rikki. That Rikki's safe and sound at home. She knows it won't happen because this is her life. In her life, nothing goes right.

Minutes go by and every single thing Emma sees suddenly means something. Something important. The nurse's beeper goes off - Emma thinks that it's for her to got to Rikki's room. The woman typing at a large desk - Emma knows it's Rikki's death certificate or something like it. Crying - they're showing Emma pity, soft laughter - they're laughing at her pathetic life, talking - they're sharing Emma's secrets that they somehow know.

Everything is important, suddenly. Emma squeezes her eyes shout and hopes for the sounds to go back to the normal. They smuther her once more before eveything goes back to how it was. Normal.

Sighing, Emma opens her blue eyes again and gasps. Rikki's figure, light and translusent, looking at her with sad baby blue eyes. A nurse passes by and "Rikki" dissapears. Emma's wide blue eyes look around the waiting room, looking for any sign of Rikki.

Blond hair flows and Emma's eyes snap over to where it came from. It's a toddler, walking to her mommy while the doctor watches with a smile. The wheat-blonde sinks into her chair and feels like crying. But she can't.

Elliot walks back into the hospital with Cleo and Zane. They suspect her quietness but don't say anything. Cleo hugs Emma and tells her that everything will be fine.

Emma doesn't say anything about the sounds or Rikki.

--

_I kind of liks this chapter. Seriously, tell me what you think. =)_

_Oh and tell me what you think of starting a Vampire Diares fanfic with an OC and my own plot. Review/Comment._

_- Marie xx_


	5. The Secrets Are Revealed

Tomorrow, I'll Breathe

V : The Secrets Are Revealed

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Death.

It's what people wonder about for their entire lives. What's it like up there with God? Is there even a God? Or maybe Satan is just real and we all go down into the fiery depths of the under-world.

I was one of the people who just laid back and said, _"Just make sure I'm dead before you bury me." _Now, I wondered. Was this death? This "stage" that I was in?

I wasn't in my body because I could see my real self. Maybe I really am dead. I don't know, I don't care. The only thing I care about is the enormous whole in my chest that continues to get bigger as time goes by.

I hadn't accomplished the many things I had wanted to. I never told Emma about Elliot and I, I never told Elliot about my secret, I never told anyone about rehab. They didn't want me to speak of it and I was finer than ever with that decision.

Rehab had been hard. No alchol. No smoking. No anything. You were isolated from the real world. Where, if you got hurt, you'd deal with it. No, there it had been entirely different. You wouldn't have to deal because you were never allowed to get hurt.

It was a simple life there. You were given a room to share, food to eat, a bed to sleep, and one phone call a day. Easy. I didn't want that. I never wanted that.

I wanted to be able to sleep whenever I wanted to, have my own room, eat whenever I felt like it, call anyone at whatever time I wanted to. I wanted freedom. It wasn't allowed there. You'd talk about your problems and admit you were wrong, as if you never had a reason for doing it.

My room-mate, Mandy, was the craziest of all the patients. She started doing drugs after her parents died in a train accident. Her bright red hair was always curly and her emerald green eyes housed crazy. She had dissapeared one day and when I asked my therapist, she flat out told me the truth.

"Mandy has been put into a maximim security rehab in Colorado." I didn't feel anything, I never really knew Mandy - she just told me about her plans to escape and go kill the train conductor that killed her parents. Turns out, that's exactly what Mandy had done but she came back. She left for an hour or two and came back. Later on, while I was out, she was dragged out of the rehab whilst she screamed that she just got her revenge.

I was glad when I got out of rehab. Happy that I could do whatever I wanted again. Now, I wonder if I should had just stayed there and under gone more in-depth treatmant.

I did what every-one told me to do. Tell my parent's goodbye. The right way. After a heart-felt goodbye, I get run over by a car. A car that belonged to my boyfriend's father. I feel stupid for even calling Zane my boyfriend because, well, I don't even like him like he does me.

Zane loves me with all his being and I just..don't. No, my heart belonged to some-one else. He is the one I truly love and will forever love. He just doesn't know it yet and might never know because of stupid Harrison Bennett. Then again, there's many things my friend's will never know about me because of Harrison Bennett and his car.

Emma. I've kept many things from her. I never told her about Elliot and me. She's clue-less. But, like the good friend she is, Emma never asked about it. She also doesn't know that I was raped by a class-mate in school. That's why I turned the way I did, that and my mother's death.

Cleo. She doesn't know anything about my in-depth life. She thinks I'm cheery and fine and over the fact that my parent's are dead and none of my realitives want me except for Emma, Elliot, and their father. She also doesn't know that I don't like her family. They're rich and think I'm bad for Zane. Good for them because I know that too, that's why I don't love him. Another thing that Cleo doesn't know.

Zane. He, like Cleo, is not in my inner-circle of true friends. I only have two people in there and that is Emma and Elliot. They know things he doesn't but not many things. He doesn't know that I don't love him or like him in any way. He doesn't know that I don't like his family. He doesn't know that another man holds my heart.

Elliot. He knows me inside-out and he still loves me. He's the one that knows _everything _about me. He wasn't afraid to ask me, _"How was rehab?"_. He doesn't treat me like a glass doll. No, he treats me like a human being. He made me strong. He's the one who I lost my virginity to at the age of sixteen when he was nineteen. Yes, it's illegal. I know but..Zane pressured me whilst I pressured Elliot. Elliot broke first because I didn't want to lose my virginity to Zane.

They're all different people who know me differently as well. Zane thinks I love him. Cleo thinks I'm over everything. Emma thinks I'm a fragile doll. Elliot..Elliot knows I'm not okay. He knows that I miss mom. He knows that I still cry myself to sleep some-times. He knows all of that and loves me unconditionally.

And that's why I love Elliot Gilbert with all my heart and soul. There, I said it.

Happy now?

--

_Go ahead. Kill me for not updating soon enough. I lost inspiration but then it came back! Yay! I love this chapter, like not even kidding. I loved writing it and enjoyed reading it over. =)_

_I've been gone for a reason. I have my own websites starting up and new stories coming out that aren't hear. All the links are on my profile, which you should really look at because I changed it! _

_And another thing, I'm having a writer's contest called Dynamite Writer's Contest on youtube! It's on my channel : rikkiandzanefan1234. Please join the contest because this is something I'm putting effort into, like my fanfic stories. So, please join the contest. All the info is in the desc. of the video : Dynamite Writer's Contest._

_Plus, go to my photo bucket ( link on profile ) because I've started making bgs and banners and all that! yay! You can request them on my website ( link on profile ) and I don't care how many I get because I enjoy making them. =)_

_Thanks TONS if you do join or/and request BGs, banners, icons, or whatever.. :D_

_- Marie xxx_


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